Water

Some people are followed around by fire – I’m followed around by water in the various places I’ve lived and worked. Aside from the usual dripping taps and leaking toilets, I’ve experienced a major flood. While living in a basement apartment many years ago, water accumulated in the window wells and came in through the electrical outlets, destroying my bed and some of my furnishings. I was left without a proper floor for weeks, after the wall-to-wall carpeting and underlay were ripped up, forcing me to negotiate the damp, nail-ridden base. A year ago, my next-door neighbors loaded up their washing-machine and went out for the day, leaving me with a squishy and stinky living-room carpet (admittedly, those living below them suffered more damage). Several years ago, when I was living on the top floor of an apartment building, a leaky roof resulted in an icicle and mould-striped wall that had to be periodically bleached. In my last workplace, thanks to the dampness, the carpets were buckled and dotted with mushrooms. Leaks in the ceiling where I now work force us to shield desks and computers with plastic garbage bags every time it rains heavily. Most recently, I had a clogged kitchen sink, which no home remedy would unblock. After the plumber came and fixed it, I noticed a fine but steady stream of water pouring into the cupboard underneath – the plumber had created a pin-size puncture in the metal.

Now, my sun-sign is Aquarius – the water bearer, commonly pictured as two wavy lines denoting water, or a person pouring water from a jug, although it is an Air sign. When depressed, I have fantasies of swimming in healing, calming, probably womb-like waters, or submerging myself, just short of drowning. Running water, like fire, is said to destroy in order to revive. It forces action. It can indicate the overflow of accumulated emotion and initiate change and renewal. Other than forcing me out of complacency (in the case of drips and links), or cleansing me of negativity and stagnation (bathing, swimming), I have yet to understand the meaning of water crises in my life. Am I being warned of the passage of time, to get moving, to make changes? I often find myself stuck and don’t know what to do to get unstuck. I just recently realized that sometimes a life situation can become so much a part of one’s identity that even if circumstances change, one’s self concept resists changing along with it, resulting in a lot of internal pressure and misery.

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